There have been many times I have wondered “Why did God put me on this earth? What is my purpose?” I’ve wondered that without getting an answer that I am totally satisfied with. I’ve been told that I am here to help other women to know that they can overcome adversity. I’ve been told that I was put here to birth my three children (even though I was not allowed to be in their lives due to circumstances I could not control). I’ve been told that I am here to be an evangelist (which I am), a prophetess (which many say I am), an author (which I am), and an advocate for women. Some things which have been spoken over me have come to pass, however, I still feel something is lacking. There is a missing link but I don’t know what it is or who it is.
I’ve started on a new journey in my life. At first, I was excited and ready to get started. Things quickly began happening and I was completely blown away by the tremendous feedback, support and “genuine” happiness I felt from others. And then, three weeks in, I feel like a failure. Those who seemed to have had my back, have turned their backs on me. I was getting quick responses from people, now my email lays dormant. My helper has even fallen away and is not motivated. “God, is this REALLY what I’m supposed to be doing? Is this my purpose in life or have I missed the mark?”
I am a very talented person who can write, edit, create gift items, do women’s group workshops, but then there is always something blocking what I know God has laid out for me to do. There is always some opposition to EVERYTHING I do. God, What is the missing link? Am I on the right path? What I am doing is good, but is IT the GOOD You want me to do? Why is every way that I turn, blocked, while others prosper? Am I out of Your will? Am I doing what You called me to do?
I do understand that everything worth doing is going to take much effort and most of the time, I will find myself doing what needs to be done, by my self. It can be daunting sometime, heck, it can even be discouraging but I am determined to see this thing through because I do believe that God has put me on this earth to help others come to HIM. I may not be the preacher who can draw in millions of people and money, but I believe God has set up those whom HE has chosen for me to minister to, so when my soul gets into the “God, did You REALLY lead me or tell me to do this?” mode, I reflect back on how many souls HE has allowed us to minister to already. No, not behind the traditional pulpit in the traditional church, but through social media outlets, internet radio, blogging, and writing books.
I am reminded that God’s ways or not my ways, Neither are His thoughts my thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9. I am reminded that God’s timing is perfect and that He knows the exact time that He wants His plan for my life executed.
So, while I may not know the in-depth reason as to why God allowed me to come to this earth, What I do know, I will do in excellence so that my Heavenly Father will be pleased. I don’t want to do a partial job, nor an incomplete job. I want to do my assignment with joy, peace and love – for God and for His people.
With that being said, I march onward today to be a blessing to those whom God has assigned me to. Whether it is a smile, a “hello”, helping someone carry a bag, a phone call just to see how “they” are doing…etc. I will do what God has put me on this earth to do until I know the rest of the story.