Does this look familiar? Husband and wife going at each other’s neck. I don’t know what the couple in the picture is “arguing” about, but I’d like to stand there and just say “LET IT GO!!!”
I used to be an argumentative, contentious woman. Everything got on my nerves. Everything was a reason for ME to argue or find fault. I WAS MISERABLE and I made my husband miserable. Why? Because I had some things from my past that I did not let go of and I brought that baggage into my marriage.
I didn’t realize how damaged I was and how much unforgiveness I was holding on to. Arguing had become a sport for me. I didn’t feel right unless I was arguing. It gave me some sort of pseudo power. I felt like in was in control when I argued with my husband because he is not an arguer. He is a peaceful man. And yes, he had been through some difficult things in his life, but he had let it go! He chose not to carry the hurt of his youth in to his present/future.
I remember when one of my husband’s uncle’s passed away. My husband eulogized him and during the sermon, one thing that stuck out from the entire sermon was this; “Let it Go!!!” This was before Disney came out with the movie, Frozen. In fact, that was back in 2001.
He told the listening audience to let go of anger that you’ve been holding on to for years and years. He said, “some of you are angry with people and don’t even remember why. Let it go!!!” People began to start crying and said they wanted to let it go. Some of the people at the funeral were arch enemies because they were the girlfriends of my husbands deceased uncle. They were wondering which one of them were going to get his money, but he had a wife whom he was still legally married to (yes the other women knew it). So, in the end, they had to LET IT GO because now, sugar daddy was dead and the money train was gone. It wasn’t the fault of the other mistress so they had to let it go.
Then he talked about his own life….how he had to forgive his dad for not being there for him and his brother. He said, publicly, “I felt bad when you left us, dad, but today, I LET IT GO!” He said, “Dad, I love you and whatever happened in our past, I let it go!!!” His father never forgot that. Every time they got together, his dad always brought it up and thanked him for saying “Let It Go”. They had a better relationship during his dad’s later years than they ever had. I was proud of my husband and so were many others.
However, when it came my time to let it go, I had a hard time with it. I couldn’t let go of the feelings I had towards the man who violently raped me. I couldn’t let go of the fact that the right to raise my children was taken away from me due to revenge. I couldn’t let go of the feelings I had of being rejected by several men. I couldn’t let go of the fact that I felt like the world hated me. No. I couldn’t let go. If I let go, I would be losing another part of me. The only part I had control of.
Fast forward to 2010, I was faced with a situation that was heart-wrenching. I needed to take a trip but God would not let me go until I released some of the emotional baggage that I was still holding on to. Number 1 bag that had to go was HATE/anger. How could I help someone else with all of that hate inside of me? So, as God does it, HE had me to confess my hurt/HATE/anger and begin to deal with it. I wrestled with God for a moment and then, finally, I LET IT GO! I LET GO OF THE HATE/ANGER/HURT. Yes, I was finally free of that part of my life, and it felt good. I could face whom/what I needed to face without being bitter, hateful, resentful, etc. I HAD, FOR THE FIRST TIME, LET IT GO! And guess who it helped? ME.
So, let it go. Whatever it is, Let it Go. If you feel as if you can’t, ask God to help you. I know for a fact that HE will help you if you want HIM to. It may hurt to release all of the baggage, but you deserve to be free from the mental anguish. You deserve to be free from any and all guilt you may be feeling. You deserve to be FREE.
I am so glad that I am no longer argumentative towards my husband. Of course, he is ecstatic about it. He has a new wife and that new wife is me. Why? Because I let it go………….