Tag Archives: life

Is God’s Timing Perfect?

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To GOD, yes, HIS timing is ALWAYS PERFECT for us because HE knows all things and HE knows what’s best for us.

However, I can honestly say that I have DOUBTED GOD’S TIMING!  I can honestly say that God’s timing has not always been in sync with MY timing, but it has ALWAYS BEEN the PERFECT TIMING.

Sometimes, it has seemed that God has waited until the 11th hour and the 58th or 59th minute to come through. During those times, I have found myself anxious, fearful, and yes, angry at God because I felt like HE was either ignoring me or simply did not care. How human of me!!!

Then there were times when I prayed and trusted God for something to be done in His timing but because God’s timing, in my fallible opinion, was didn’t come quick enough, I went ahead of God and messed things up. Yes! I have gotten into relationships with the wrong people because I did not trust God’s PERFECT timing. I have spent money on things because I didn’t wait on God’s PERFECT timing.

Check this out….Psalm 24:17.

So, are you waiting for God to come through? Is HE taking longer than think HE should take? I just want to encourage you to TRUST IN GOD’S TIMING. HE is never late and HE is never premature. God’s timing is PERFECT and all we have to do is to trust HIM.

Have a super day!

Understanding Love – 1 Corinthians 13

                                                    “You didn’t clean up the kitchen!” “You always have MY living                                               room looking a mess!” “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!!!”                                                                           Notebook and pen

I read an article by Mustardseedbudget.wordpress.com entitled “Love Keeps No Record of Wrong” and I got to thinking of how I used to actually keep mental, and sometimes written records of what I thought my husband had done wrong to me. The things I kept record of were absolutely ridiculous and not really worth keeping record of. Things like, not putting his clothes in the hamper or leaving “my living room” out of order with his papers and books (he was a pastor and high school teacher so he had to have a place to study and check students’ work). He would cook dinner but I would be upset that he made a mess in the kitchen without cleaning it up. Let me tell you, I was a mess.

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Then one day, the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit and said, “What if God kept a record of your wrongdoing and brought up your shortcomings? How would you feel?” That right there, stopped me in my tracks and made me think of how horrible I had been acting towards my husband about minor things. Things that could be easily corrected. Unfortunately, I reverted back to my old ways of keeping record of wrong until one day, my husband had had enough. He said, “Theresa, why is it that every time we have an argument, you bring up something I did wrong?” He went on to say, “I don’t do that to you and I have plenty of things I could say but I choose not to say them because they don’t really matter and I love you so I forgive you when you do something wrong. When are you going to let go and stop bringing up what I did? You say you forgive me, but you don’t because if you did, you wouldn’t keep bringing stuff up”. Well, I have to tell you, I felt like the worse person on earth. After all, my husband has never cheated on me, hit me, called me names, spent his/our money on illicit or unnecessary things, etc. I had/have the best husband I could ask for. He loves God (which I asked for). He is just a great man. But I was messed up inside. I was lashing out at him because I still needed healing from things I had suffered as a child and even in my adult life.

When my husband expressed his feelings, I had to sit down and reflect on what he said. I was not operating in love ~ agape. I was operating in selfishness. I wanted EVERYTHING to be MY WAY or NO WAY. It was my way to have control because growing up in foster care, I didn’t have control over the abuse I received. I didn’t have any control over how I was treated and I was determined that I was going to control what happened in my life from the time I left foster care until I closed my eyes in death. I didn’t know that I was messed up and was destroying my marital relationship.

Fast forward.

God has done some wonderful things in my life. I am still healing from some past hurts, but I no longer reflect my pain onto my husband. Whenever I feel something, I pray about it and allow God to heal that. I don’t waste paper and energy to write down what I consider wrong because God does not do that to me. If HE did, there would be enough books to fill several nice-sized libraries. I don’t allow the negative, condemning thoughts to take up space in my mind anymore.

Walking in God’s love is a choice. We have free will. I choose to do 1 Corinthians 13 and it has saved me and my marriage. My husband can truly say that he likes the woman I have become. Of course he has always loved me, but he didn’t like me very much. How could he. I was not likable. Truthfully, I didn’t like myself but I thank God for Change.

Thank you Mustard Seed Budget for your article. It is needed.

Not Always Sunshine ~ Not Always Pain

Life hasn’t always be sunshine
nor has it always been pain

Life hasn’t always been cloudy
nor has it always been rain.

Life has it’s ups and downs
Yes, Life has its smiles and its frowns

But what I know about this life of mine
although it could be better, it’s still going fine.

I mean, nobody said there’d be ups without downs
nobody promised me always smiles and no frowns.

Nobody promised me there’d always be sunshine and no rain
Nobody promised me that there’d be always joy and no pain.

But I heard someone say “Live is like a box of chocolates…You never know what you’re gonna get” and that’s one spoken word I’ll never forget.

So always remember that we must take the good and the bad
And let us remember that we’ll have happy times and sad.

But always remember that after the storm comes the rainbow
And after the pain, comes the victory glow.

What is Life?

What is Life?
By: T.J. Scott 
6/11/13
(c)

What is life?
A bunch of ups and downs?
What is life?
Some smiles and some frowns?
What is life?
Some clouds and some pain?
What is life?
Some sun and some rain?
What is life?
Some good and some bad?
What is life?
Some happy and some sad?
What is life?
Some rich and some poor?
What is life?
Some always wanting more?
What is life?
Saying hello to say goodbye?
What is life?
To Laugh some and then cry?
What is life?
Some paper and some ink?
What is life?
I guess it’s what ever you may think!!!

REFLECTIONS

I’ve been thinking a lot about my life. There were many days throughout my life when I cried and there were different reasons for my tears. Some due to the pain of Lupus. Some due to situations I could not control. Some tears were for joy as I accomplished a new task or just for being happy after going through a brief bout of depression, while more recently, my tears were for the loss of my mother – my mother whom I had only really gotten to know two years prior to her passing.
As I reflect on the loss of my mother, I wondered what it would have been like to have been raised by her instead of by strangers who only took me in because of the financial benefits. I wondered would I have turned out any differently than I have. Would I have married three times trying to find love? Would I have become a writer? Would I even be a mother? As I looked at my mother lying on that gurney, lifeless and still, I had so many questions to ask her. Mom, why didn’t you fight for me when the State took me away? Didn’t you want me? Didn’t you love me? Didn’t you miss me? As she lay there, peaceful and at rest from the pain of cancer, I couldn’t help but wonder, “why did you have more children after me since you couldn’t seem to raise me and the other 8 children before me?” 
As I reflect on the death of my mother, I realize that I will never get the answers to my questions, at least not the answers I really wanted to hear.
As I reflect on the death of my mother and remember her lifeless body laying on that cold, stainless steel gurney, I remember looking at her bruised lips and wanted to know why she allowed men to abuse her and disfigure her. Why mom? 
As I reflect on the questions i want to ask my mother, I realize those are some of the same questions my very own children may want to ask me. “Mom, why didn’t you come get us?” or “Mom, didn’t you love us? Didn’t you want to know how we were doing? Didn’t you miss us? Did you love us?”
My answer to my children is this: I loved you then and I love you now. If I had it to do all over again, I would never have let that happen. I missed you immensely and I wanted desperately to know how you were doing but I just couldn’t get to you. That never meant I didn’t love you”.”Please forgive me”.
As I reflect on LIFE and how I wish I could turn back the hands of time, I wonder if my life would have been any different had my mother raised me.

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