Tag Archives: marriage

God Saved My Marriage – YouTube Video

God Saved My Marriage Video
This video is #1 in a series where I talk about my book An Attitude of Love: The Ways of A Godly Wife. I will share some real life experiences that my husband and I went through at the worst of our marriage. I will also share how God changed my heart and healed me from all of the baggage which I was carrying.
I was a little girl in a woman’s body, crying out for help. When God knew that I was serious and wanted to change ME, then HE stepped in and helped me to become the woman I am today.
I hope you enjoy these videos and I pray that somebody can be helped after seeing these videos.

God bless you.

Understanding Love – 1 Corinthians 13

                                                    “You didn’t clean up the kitchen!” “You always have MY living                                               room looking a mess!” “Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah!!!”                                                                           Notebook and pen

I read an article by Mustardseedbudget.wordpress.com entitled “Love Keeps No Record of Wrong” and I got to thinking of how I used to actually keep mental, and sometimes written records of what I thought my husband had done wrong to me. The things I kept record of were absolutely ridiculous and not really worth keeping record of. Things like, not putting his clothes in the hamper or leaving “my living room” out of order with his papers and books (he was a pastor and high school teacher so he had to have a place to study and check students’ work). He would cook dinner but I would be upset that he made a mess in the kitchen without cleaning it up. Let me tell you, I was a mess.

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Then one day, the Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit and said, “What if God kept a record of your wrongdoing and brought up your shortcomings? How would you feel?” That right there, stopped me in my tracks and made me think of how horrible I had been acting towards my husband about minor things. Things that could be easily corrected. Unfortunately, I reverted back to my old ways of keeping record of wrong until one day, my husband had had enough. He said, “Theresa, why is it that every time we have an argument, you bring up something I did wrong?” He went on to say, “I don’t do that to you and I have plenty of things I could say but I choose not to say them because they don’t really matter and I love you so I forgive you when you do something wrong. When are you going to let go and stop bringing up what I did? You say you forgive me, but you don’t because if you did, you wouldn’t keep bringing stuff up”. Well, I have to tell you, I felt like the worse person on earth. After all, my husband has never cheated on me, hit me, called me names, spent his/our money on illicit or unnecessary things, etc. I had/have the best husband I could ask for. He loves God (which I asked for). He is just a great man. But I was messed up inside. I was lashing out at him because I still needed healing from things I had suffered as a child and even in my adult life.

When my husband expressed his feelings, I had to sit down and reflect on what he said. I was not operating in love ~ agape. I was operating in selfishness. I wanted EVERYTHING to be MY WAY or NO WAY. It was my way to have control because growing up in foster care, I didn’t have control over the abuse I received. I didn’t have any control over how I was treated and I was determined that I was going to control what happened in my life from the time I left foster care until I closed my eyes in death. I didn’t know that I was messed up and was destroying my marital relationship.

Fast forward.

God has done some wonderful things in my life. I am still healing from some past hurts, but I no longer reflect my pain onto my husband. Whenever I feel something, I pray about it and allow God to heal that. I don’t waste paper and energy to write down what I consider wrong because God does not do that to me. If HE did, there would be enough books to fill several nice-sized libraries. I don’t allow the negative, condemning thoughts to take up space in my mind anymore.

Walking in God’s love is a choice. We have free will. I choose to do 1 Corinthians 13 and it has saved me and my marriage. My husband can truly say that he likes the woman I have become. Of course he has always loved me, but he didn’t like me very much. How could he. I was not likable. Truthfully, I didn’t like myself but I thank God for Change.

Thank you Mustard Seed Budget for your article. It is needed.

I Co-Wrote A Book – Part 3

So, as I was writing my chapter for the book “Dear Lord, I Married The Wrong Person – HER STORY“, I had a chance to reflect on the turmoil I had actually gone through with that man. I remembered how I KNEW he was lying about doing drugs and sleeping with other women to get drugs, but he would come home after two or three days and sweet talk me and I would let him back in – to live like everything was ok.

I remembered how this man would look me in my face and convince ME that the reason he was on drugs was MY FAULT. Get this: HE WAS ON DRUGS BEFORE I EVER MET HIM!! But because I didn’t want him to leave me, I allowed him to tell me that it was my fault and I found myself apologizing to him for making him so miserable that he wanted and needed to do drugs.

I also remembered how he used to steal my money. I would go to work while he sat home. I worked long hours every day. While I was at work, he was scheming on how to get my money. I would hide the money in various locations in the house and he would find it. I don’t til this day, know how he would find the money, but he did. When he would steal it, I would ask him why and he told me HE HAD TO STEAL it because I wouldn’t GIVE IT to him.

See, I was his enabler. I was co-dependent. I was so afraid of rejection or abandonment that I put up with his crap. I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want another failed relationship. Why can’t I just be happy? Why can’t my man love me enough to leave the drugs alone? Wasn’t I good enough? Wasn’t I worth loving? I couldn’t bear the thought of not being woman enough to keep a man, even a drug-addicted man. Darn!!! I MUST BE ugly, not good for anything. I MUST BE worthless and undeserving of love.

So against my better judgment, I stayed with him. I tried to trick him into going to rehab. I tried to bribe him into rehab. I even tried to get him to go to marriage counselling with me but he would not budge. I felt defeated. I felt like a loser. This just made me feel worse about myself. This just made me rehearse the words I had heard as a child: “You’re worthless. You’ll never be anything. Nobody in their right mind will ever want you. You’re a foster child and foster children are no good”. I thought, “maybe they were right”.

I Co-Authored A Book – Dear Lord, I Think I Married The Wrong Person

In this book, “Dear Lord, I Think I Married the Wrong Person,” I speak about “Unholy Matrimony”.

Here’s an excerpt: “In June of 1996, upon my return to Philadelphia, I was lonely, depressed and looking for love. Not really love, but for the attention from which I felt I deserved. I was looking for a man who as going to treat me like I had dreamed – love on me no matter what: tell me that I was beautiful no matter what I looked like. A man who was handsome, patient, had money to buy me things, and would take me out to dinner.I wanted a man who could stand up and be a man in any situation; I wanted a man who understood this broken woman; this mentally and physically abused woman; this woman who had hang-ups about sex due to being raped. I wanted a man to love the little girl who was abandoned by her mother at the age of 9 months. I wanted a man who would hold me and tell me everything would be alright. Yes, I was dreaming and I was foolish enough to believe that a man, a mere man could take on all that baggage I was carrying around”.

As I sat here typing this excerpt, I realized I expected a man to do what only GOD could do for me and was to HEAL ME.


Abuse, if not addressed, can cause life-long problems for the abused as well as for the abuser. NO FORM OF ABUSE IS OK AT ANY TIME.  People were not made to be abused. We were created in love, by GOD and we are to demonstrate love to others; however, we know that we do not live in a perfect world but we can do better.

If you would like more information about this book of which I was one of 15 female authors, please contact me via Facebook @ Theresa Godismakingmeoveragain Scott.