Yesterday I saw a post by a person I’ve known for many years. She posted a picture of her arm with a bullet wound and she said she got the wound from her husband. In fact, she said, “Thanks John (phony name) for shooting me”. It was the first post I saw on Facebook and I was completely shaken by what I saw and read from this person whom I’ve known for many years. Why was I surprised?, I asked myself. She, through the eight years of marriage, has been abused over and over again. In fact, she is not only abused by her husband, but is also abused by her adult daughter and was abused by her mother. So she is no stranger to abuse. However, I couldn’t help but feel anger towards her because I felt like she knows her husband is a drug user and abuser but she keeps letting him back into her apartment – into her life – because of…the SEX!!! And then again, she is CO-DEPENDENT. She cannot function without being abused. When I realized that, the anger turned into sorrow for her. I began to remember how, as an abused woman, I was constantly drawn back to my abuser. I, too, was unable to function without being abused in some way, shape or form. I remembered how it hurt so bad to be abused, but it felt so strange when the abuse was not there.
Sounds crazy, right? Well, to a person who has been abused for years, it’s not crazy to them. It’s their normal and anything you say to them, as far as leaving their abuser or staying away from their abuser, sounds foreign to them. They can’t function outside of abuse. They have become dependent on being abused.
I have prayed for my friend in hopes that she will flee her abuser. Why? Because she deserves better. All abused people deserve better.
I see how her abusive husband has changed her. I see how she drinks and curses and fights with him. I hear how she SAYS she is tired of the abuse but in moments of weakness, she allows him back into her life. Not because of fear, but because of LONELINESS.
Oh GOD, I know YOU ARE REAL. Please deliver my friend from this cycle of abuse. Please heal her and give her somebody who will love her and please, GOD, let her know and accept the fact that YOU did NOT create her to be abused. IN JESUS’ NAME, I PRAY AND Thank YOU GOD. AMEN